My Blog’s Spam Comments Keep Me Laughing

by Nancy Wurtzel on January 24, 2013

Whenever I’m feeling a bit down, I know my spirits will be lifted considerably by visiting the comments section of my blog.

No, not the sane, thoughtful comments that are visible to you, the reader.  While your insightful, mainstream offerings are very much appreciated — please do keep them coming — today I am referencing the comments in my Spam folder.  These are the comments that most people consider the underbelly of the online world.

Yet, these comments often lighten my day.  While I can’t approve Spam for publication, as it would simply open up the floodgates to more and more spam, I have to admit these comments are really very, very tasty.  Sort of like Spam Sushi, which I learned this week actually exists.

Just today, for instance, I had my 2,000th plus comment from my most devoted Chinese fan who goes by Jianyi007.  Okay, I’ve added the 007 for effect.  But still.

Jianyi’s ubiquitous postings vary from only a website address to long, rambling paragraphs that clearly show he has read my latest writing. Sadly, Jianyi’s comments always feature promotional links to miraculous online vitamen stores, and, yes, that is exactly the way it he spells vitamin…in every single comment.

One has to admire his consistency.

Jianyi is my most faithful fan, and I look forward to what he writes. Even though my blog filter throws him into the Spam sandbox, he (or his automated bot) keeps coming back day-after-day.

Gotta love Jianyi007 for simply showing up.

Some days, I get comments that seem as though they are from an alien planet.  Here is one that I received recently: “Learning makes a good man better and ill man work.”  I believe the last word should be “worse”instead of “work,” but I’ve learned it is better to just accept the Spam rather than judge it.

Isabelle also posted this missive in the past few days, “Looks like Klipsch is absolutely made cooperate with iProducts?? I will want android.”

After googling, I learned Isabelle was promoting a high-end headphone, which has nothing to do whatsoever with my blog.  However, I must give Isabelle points for her confidence and hutzpah.  She took a shot at it and probably did get her comment on a handful of blogs.

However, I have to think there are lots better ways to ways to promote headphones.

Now, you gotta love Maureen.  She’s a lovely lass if there every was one.  Maureen is another frequent commenter who ends up in my Spam folder for inserting links — and for her consistently bad grammar.

One of Maureen’s comments might go like this: “I luv ur writin about mom. Makes sense to me in Wichita. Seniors like this site (link to dubious website here).  Come visit Wichita, bring mom.”

Maureen can be counted on to turn up every few weeks with some short, targeted comment that proves she has at the very least perused my blog.  I’m betting that Maureen resides in Kansas,, since Wichita is referenced in most of her comments, although sometimes she spells it, Witchita.

Well, no one is perfect.  Especially in the Spam folder.

In fact, the only thing I require in my Spam folder is humor.  Make me laugh and you have done your job.  No, I won’t override my blog’s filter and approve your comment, but know that you that you are an integral part of my blogging experience.

Those of you who read my blog regularly, know that while the title of my blog has the word “dating” in it, I don’t blog about dating…or, at least not yet.  However, you can imagine how many Spam comments I get that are focused on that very subject.  I’ll leave some of those choice comments for another post.

Many of my readers are also bloggers.  Do you have some funny comments you would like to share?  Go ahead and post a few when you have the time.  However, please don’t reference Witchita, or you might very well end up in Spam yourself!

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1 Melanie Wilson February 7, 2013 at 1:16 pm

The funniest spam I’ve read recently was published (I believe inadvertently) on another blogger’s site: “I have to thanκ yοu for the efforts you’ve put in penning this blog. I am hoping to view the same high-grade content from you later on as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own website now ;)” They then linked to a bad credit website. LOL!

2 joanna jenkins January 28, 2013 at 10:59 pm

Ahh SPAM– Makes me crazy. I get a ton of it but sadly it’s almost all for medications… usually for males. Need I say more 😉
xo jj

3 Lee January 27, 2013 at 3:35 pm

These are great. My blog is still too new to get good spam, but the blogs that I provide content for at work get excellent spam, and I do enjoy reading them before deleting them. I think spam is a sign that you have arrived as a blogger!!

4 Nancy Wurtzel January 27, 2013 at 3:40 pm

Good point! Thanks for the follow, the read and the comment…and, oh, can’t forget the tweet. Best, Nancy

5 Haralee January 27, 2013 at 1:51 pm

Yours are funny!
For some reason Ugg boots are in my spam often. Also some Chinese comments, and that great commenter, anonymous!

6 Nancy Wurtzel January 27, 2013 at 2:29 pm

Oh, how could I have missed anonymous!???!

7 JoAnn Jordan January 26, 2013 at 4:56 pm

I join you in checking the spam folder for a laugh. At times the mix of words makes no sense. And, the positive “spin” on spam – at least someone is visiting my site.

8 Nancy Wurtzel January 27, 2013 at 2:29 pm

Thanks for reading…and the comment!

9 Diane Hughes January 25, 2013 at 9:21 pm

One of my favorites was: “Just taking a quick coffee break and wanted to post a hello.” The attached link was to an escort service.

There are many more. What’s really interesting is when you copy and paste the spam message into Google and it shows up all over the Web.

10 Nadine Feldman January 25, 2013 at 11:33 am

Jeez, my spammers aren’t nearly as much fun as yours! These were pretty good. Thanks for the laugh.

11 Sharon Greenthal January 24, 2013 at 6:48 pm

Here’s my most recent from my spam folder, where currently there are 1480 spam comments (must delete, must delete)

An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a co-worker who had been doing
a little homework on this. And he actually ordered me lunch because I discovered it for him.
.. lol. So let me reword this…. Thanks for the meal!
! But yeah, thanx for spending the time to discuss this matter here
on your web site.

12 Nancy Wurtzel January 24, 2013 at 8:20 pm

Oh, Sharon, that is great! Someone “graded” me today and gave me a D! Also, your comment DID end up in the spam folder! Good job!

13 Ellen Dolgen January 24, 2013 at 5:52 pm

Mine are usually like this one:

“First off I would like to say cheap uggs terrific blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you don’t mind. I was curious to know how you center yourself and clear your head prior to writing. I have had difficulty clearing my thoughts in getting my ideas out there. I do enjoy writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually lost simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or hints? There’s Ugg boots, these are typically uggs ,Cheers!”

A good Captcha stops 95%+ itself, but where’s the fun in that, right? :>)

14 Nancy Wurtzel January 24, 2013 at 8:21 pm

Love it!!

15 denisedanchesfisher January 24, 2013 at 2:38 pm

First couple of times I got spam mail, I was excited. Can you believe that, until I read what the spammer had to say. No mistake it is called SPAM.

16 Nancy Wurtzel January 24, 2013 at 8:21 pm

Fair enough!

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