My Blog’s Spam Comments Keep Me Laughing

by Nancy Wurtzel on January 24, 2013

Whenever I’m feeling a bit down, I know my spirits will be lifted considerably by visiting the comments section of my blog.

No, not the sane, thoughtful comments that are visible to you, the reader.  While your insightful, mainstream offerings are very much appreciated — please do keep them coming — today I am referencing the comments in my Spam folder.  These are the comments that most people consider the underbelly of the online world.

Yet, these comments often lighten my day.  While I can’t approve Spam for publication, as it would simply open up the floodgates to more and more spam, I have to admit these comments are really very, very tasty.  Sort of like Spam Sushi, which I learned this week actually exists.

Just today, for instance, I had my 2,000th plus comment from my most devoted Chinese fan who goes by Jianyi007.  Okay, I’ve added the 007 for effect.  But still.

Jianyi’s ubiquitous postings vary from only a website address to long, rambling paragraphs that clearly show he has read my latest writing. Sadly, Jianyi’s comments always feature promotional links to miraculous online vitamen stores, and, yes, that is exactly the way it he spells vitamin…in every single comment.

One has to admire his consistency.

Jianyi is my most faithful fan, and I look forward to what he writes. Even though my blog filter throws him into the Spam sandbox, he (or his automated bot) keeps coming back day-after-day.

Gotta love Jianyi007 for simply showing up.

Some days, I get comments that seem as though they are from an alien planet.  Here is one that I received recently: “Learning makes a good man better and ill man work.”  I believe the last word should be “worse”instead of “work,” but I’ve learned it is better to just accept the Spam rather than judge it.

Isabelle also posted this missive in the past few days, “Looks like Klipsch is absolutely made cooperate with iProducts?? I will want android.”

After googling, I learned Isabelle was promoting a high-end headphone, which has nothing to do whatsoever with my blog.  However, I must give Isabelle points for her confidence and hutzpah.  She took a shot at it and probably did get her comment on a handful of blogs.

However, I have to think there are lots better ways to ways to promote headphones.

Now, you gotta love Maureen.  She’s a lovely lass if there every was one.  Maureen is another frequent commenter who ends up in my Spam folder for inserting links — and for her consistently bad grammar.

One of Maureen’s comments might go like this: “I luv ur writin about mom. Makes sense to me in Wichita. Seniors like this site (link to dubious website here).  Come visit Wichita, bring mom.”

Maureen can be counted on to turn up every few weeks with some short, targeted comment that proves she has at the very least perused my blog.  I’m betting that Maureen resides in Kansas,, since Wichita is referenced in most of her comments, although sometimes she spells it, Witchita.

Well, no one is perfect.  Especially in the Spam folder.

In fact, the only thing I require in my Spam folder is humor.  Make me laugh and you have done your job.  No, I won’t override my blog’s filter and approve your comment, but know that you that you are an integral part of my blogging experience.

Those of you who read my blog regularly, know that while the title of my blog has the word “dating” in it, I don’t blog about dating…or, at least not yet.  However, you can imagine how many Spam comments I get that are focused on that very subject.  I’ll leave some of those choice comments for another post.

Many of my readers are also bloggers.  Do you have some funny comments you would like to share?  Go ahead and post a few when you have the time.  However, please don’t reference Witchita, or you might very well end up in Spam yourself!

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