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Thinking of Moving? Don’t Choose Minnesota!

by Nancy Wurtzel on June 18, 2013

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Are you looking to move?  Try your hand in a new city with fresh opportunities and fun adventures?  If so, please consider Florida, North Carolina, Texas, New Mexico or Colorado.  Any state but Minnesota.

Never mind the twin cities of Minneapolis/St. Paul and the surrounding metro areas are often included on many of the “Best Places to Live” lists.  Or, that The Trust for Public Land recently named the Twin Cities the nation’s best big city for public parks, besting New York City and Boston.

Big Whoop.  Don’t be fooled.  You don’t want to live here.

Take it from me.  I returned to to my native Minnesota in 2011, after living in Southern California for more than three decades.  I never thought I’d return, but personal circumstances brought me back.  After living in my small, rural hometown for nine months (population 4,300), I was paroled for good behavior and bought a home just outside Minneapolis.

From personal experience, I know it isn’t that great to live here.  Honest.

Not convinced?  Consider these four reasons not to move to the twin cities.

1. Minnesota is Much Too Progressive.  We have two democratic senators and a governor who are doing good work, and citizens who really care about the future of their state.  Did I mention our unemployment rate is 3.7 percent? Did you know there is a building boom going on here?  Did you know our state coffers are in good shape?  (The best for last) Did you hear Michelle Bachmann retired from Congress?  It won’t last.

2. The Natives Get in Your Face.  Your neighbors will snow blow your driveway and never expect anything in return.  If you mention you’re fond of cherry pie, someone will bring you one.  During the summer and the fall, there will be backyard gatherings and everyone in the neighborhood shows up to chat, laugh, and sip wine or beer.  When you walk or ride your bike people wave and smile (and usually comment about the weather).  The residents here take friendly to a new level.  Minnesota Nice? It’s downright annoying.

3. How Quaint: People Value Learning.  Oh sure, the schools are pretty good.  We have more than 200 colleges and universities in the state and 33 of them made the annual list of “Best Colleges” by U.S. News and World Report.  And, speaking of education, please just gloss over the fact that Minneapolis & St. Paul were both included on a list of the most literate cities in the U.S. (spots three and six, respectively).  Don’t even ask me to tell you about the libraries.  Learning? It’s overrated.

4. Dubious Quality of Life.  Forget that we have way more than 10,000 lakes, great air, loads of trees, and walking and bike trails that were named the best in the country.  Never mind that we have the Mall of America, the biggest mall ever, or that our world-class museums are awesome.  Or, that we have more theater seats per capita than any other metropolitan area.  Did I forget to mention Garrison Keillor?  Please do not come to the Twin Cities to enjoy our huge farmer’s markets and our great restaurants.  Do not come here to see the thousands upon thousands of wonderful old houses and buildings that have been preserved and restored.  And, while you are not here, you surely won’t see any deer or wild turkey in your backyard (like I have in mine).  Awesome on every level?  It’s all hype.

There you have it.

I could have easily listed five reasons not to move here, but Minnesotans are notoriously modest.  Five would have just been showing off.

Hopefully, my four reasons are enough to convince you to just stay where you are or choose some other place to relocate.  Really, we’ve got enough people in Minnesota and you really wouldn’t like it anyway.  Honest.  I hate it.  I hate it so much, I’m never leaving again.  You would, too.

Please Share!

{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Tyson January 9, 2016 at 9:41 pm

Suddenly it’s bad to be nice? Alright I’ll just go to New York to be hated by everyone.

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2 Ex MInnesotan June 3, 2015 at 2:44 am

Snow on the ground until June. Minus 40 windchill, spend a billion dollars for a 3-13 football team. Bugs bugs bugs. Taxes on everything except food which is why Minnesotans are fat tubs of goo (go to the state fair, tell me I’m wrong). Three feet of snow for Halloween. Cant get anywhere at any speed as everyone is one the road going the exact same direction every single day, 20 minute drive on weekends turns into a hour and a half on weekdays. No one lives in either Minneapolis or St. Paul, they just drive there to work then go back to the suburbs.

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3 john May 1, 2017 at 11:19 am

Agree on all accounts with the exception that Minnesota has one of the lowest obesity levels in the country.

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4 Mini Cat October 20, 2013 at 12:23 am

Sarcasm… the lowest form of wit.

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5 Nancy Wurtzel October 20, 2013 at 8:53 am

Perhaps, but did you like it?

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6 Emily @ Zweber Family Farms July 1, 2013 at 9:42 am

Yes, please don’t move to Minnesota. We don’t need any more over friendly people here who bake you a tater-tot hotdish when you are ill. We have reached our quota.
Thanks for a great post!

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7 Nancy Wurtzel July 1, 2013 at 9:56 am

Oh, tater-tot hot dish!!! Wish I had some for lunch today…thanks for coming to read, Emily.

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8 Grandma Bonnie June 29, 2013 at 2:23 pm

I just love The Mall of America. We visited The Mall of America when my sister-in-law was at the Mayo Clinic for treatment.

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9 Teresa from NanaHood June 26, 2013 at 8:19 pm

I’m a new follower and love this post! But I won’t be leaving Kentucky. My roots are so deep they won’t budge! Hugs to you new friend!

Teresa

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10 Nancy Wurtzel June 26, 2013 at 8:53 pm

Teresa!! Thank you for the follow and for the really wonderful comment! All the best, Nancy

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11 Janidu June 24, 2013 at 1:34 am

Well…first of all, you got my attention and got me to read the entire article with that heading. Anyways, I started angry…as I read through it, I realized…that you were right! Besides, no Minnesotan would wan’t people who would not fit Minnesota moving here!

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12 Joanne June 23, 2013 at 7:58 pm

I’ll admit, you had me at first, and my MN nerve was pinging! This was so beautifully written. Makes me wish I lived there. Hope you’re enjoying the summer and beautiful lakes this time of year!

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13 Kelly June 20, 2013 at 9:47 am

Nancy – Wonderfully written! I can’t wait to come see this amazing “not to live” place and see something more than the Minneapolis airport and Mall of America (which does by the way have the world’s best carmel popcorn). Thanks for bringing a smile and an education to me. Kelly

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14 Diane June 19, 2013 at 3:45 pm

Oh, Nancy – I so enjoyed reading this this morning! I’m getting a little home sick myself. I hope you don’t mind, I re-posted it with a link back to your blog. Many thanks, Diane

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15 Lisa Brown June 19, 2013 at 3:29 pm

Lovely tribute! lisa Brown

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16 Lonny Gulden June 19, 2013 at 2:46 pm

Nancy,

And we’re also the only place in the country that has/needs a Seven County Mosquito Control District!

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17 Tammy June 19, 2013 at 1:00 pm

Haaaa! Booking a flight now. But seriously, California winters have me downright spoiled. Yeah, it would probably take a 7.9 earthquake with the epicenter under my house to get me out of this state. That being said, Minnesota (said with accent) would be quite lovely to visit.

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18 Olya Thompson June 19, 2013 at 11:58 am

A lovely tribute to Minnesota. Also love the witty tongue-in-cheek style. After reading this, who would not want to move there!

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19 Nadine Feldman June 19, 2013 at 11:23 am

Love it! Most people think that it rains all the time where I live. The locals have advised me not to correct them. Sounds like our new home states have some similarities!

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20 jeanette June 19, 2013 at 10:20 am

When I saw the heading of the article I was ready to really “rip” on Nancy as I expected to hear all negative. I was pleasantly surprised to read what she wrote and how she “nailed” living in MN!

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21 Maritza Martinez June 19, 2013 at 9:46 am

Great post! My daughter visited in 2011 and she loved it, brought tons of beautiful pictures.

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22 Amy June 18, 2013 at 7:18 pm

I couldn’t agree more. 🙂

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23 Nikki October 15, 2013 at 10:14 am

The state of Minnesota is terrible. I would never go back there! Not even if someone paid me, which would be impossible anyway since half the people there live off of hard working people. My daughters are both in A rated schools and are leaps and bounds ahead of the kids in Minnesota. The atmosphere is friendly and relaxed. I live in a wonderful area here in Florida. People going by on their morning jog have stopped to help me carry brush to the curb and in Minnesota the people run from helping anyone even if they were offered pay.

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24 Nancy Wurtzel October 15, 2013 at 10:47 am

Wow, where do you live in Florida…I want to come visit!

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